Cercei Candelabru cu Margele Semipretioase din Ochi de Pisica
Pret: 45 ron
Wednesday, February 1, 2012
Cercei din margele metalice, margele textile si chipsuri din rodonit (2)
Cercei din margele metalice, margele textile si chipsuri din rodonit.
Pret: 15 ron
( o singura pereche)
Monday, January 30, 2012
MauldenNews January 2012
No pictures this month...camera fatigue from Christmas, perhaps? Sorry, you'll have to use your imaginations...
Every new year brings new experiences, some anticipated, some not. A few things that were new for us this month:
- We started speech therapy with Sam. He tends to "stutter" when he gets excited, only I didn't really recognize it or think of it as stuttering.... he often repeats a whole word or phrase several times, often at the end of a sentence more than the beginning....anyway, we are learning and playing new games at home, and Sam is happy to have new ways to earn lollipops.
- Alle's new thing is selling Girl Scout cookies for the first time. She had her whole sales spiel memorized and performed it for all the neighbors and anyone who would listen. She even told everyone what cookies she thought they should buy. She really wanted to earn the prize for selling 1000+ boxes...funny how they have NO idea what is realistic at this age.
For some reason being the mom of a Girl Scout feels like such a new and foreign phase of parenthood to me. But it's good. I like her cute little Daisy troop and I feel very domestic when I iron the patches on her uniform. We sold 61 boxes and I took the opportunity to order all the kinds I had never ordered before. Now I need an excuse to have a cookie party.
- We tried a couple new foods this month - fresh fennel (in salad with oranges & red bell peppers) and parsnips (julienned and roasted with rosemary and thyme). I thought both were good, even though I'm not a big fan of anise flavor. Why a green bulb should taste like black licorice is beyond me. Sometimes it's like a game to find new stuff in the produce section, since a lot of it is not labeled, at least here. It's also fun to stump the checkout person when buying weird vegetables. Next time I might try rutabaga if I get brave.
- I've taken a break from running and instead I'm doing a new workout routine called P90X. I'm 3+ weeks into the 90-day program. It's a good change and good for core and overall fitness... The strategy is "muscle confusion" ... I think I'm successfully confusing my muscles. I was skeptical about the kenpo kickboxing, but I'm even enjoying pretend-punching and kicking more than I thought I would.
- Status update on my 21-day challenge: I'm still at it! My wristband is wearing thin, but my complaining frequency has definitely gone down. Yay! It's amazing how automatic complaining is for me. Sometimes I just can't think of anything to say that's not a criticism or complaint so I am learning to just...be quiet. I liked what one finisher said - when we keep our complaints quiet, it's easier to hear God speak to us.
- I'll close as usual with my Book Pick of the month: Mudhouse Sabbath by Lauren Winner. The author grew up Jewish and is now Christian. Really liked her interesting perspective on Jewish practices like keeping Sabbath, lighting candles, mourning, prayer and others.
- May you all be happy and at peace. Keep in touch.
Every new year brings new experiences, some anticipated, some not. A few things that were new for us this month:
- We started speech therapy with Sam. He tends to "stutter" when he gets excited, only I didn't really recognize it or think of it as stuttering.... he often repeats a whole word or phrase several times, often at the end of a sentence more than the beginning....anyway, we are learning and playing new games at home, and Sam is happy to have new ways to earn lollipops.
- Alle's new thing is selling Girl Scout cookies for the first time. She had her whole sales spiel memorized and performed it for all the neighbors and anyone who would listen. She even told everyone what cookies she thought they should buy. She really wanted to earn the prize for selling 1000+ boxes...funny how they have NO idea what is realistic at this age.
For some reason being the mom of a Girl Scout feels like such a new and foreign phase of parenthood to me. But it's good. I like her cute little Daisy troop and I feel very domestic when I iron the patches on her uniform. We sold 61 boxes and I took the opportunity to order all the kinds I had never ordered before. Now I need an excuse to have a cookie party.
- We tried a couple new foods this month - fresh fennel (in salad with oranges & red bell peppers) and parsnips (julienned and roasted with rosemary and thyme). I thought both were good, even though I'm not a big fan of anise flavor. Why a green bulb should taste like black licorice is beyond me. Sometimes it's like a game to find new stuff in the produce section, since a lot of it is not labeled, at least here. It's also fun to stump the checkout person when buying weird vegetables. Next time I might try rutabaga if I get brave.
- I've taken a break from running and instead I'm doing a new workout routine called P90X. I'm 3+ weeks into the 90-day program. It's a good change and good for core and overall fitness... The strategy is "muscle confusion" ... I think I'm successfully confusing my muscles. I was skeptical about the kenpo kickboxing, but I'm even enjoying pretend-punching and kicking more than I thought I would.
- Status update on my 21-day challenge: I'm still at it! My wristband is wearing thin, but my complaining frequency has definitely gone down. Yay! It's amazing how automatic complaining is for me. Sometimes I just can't think of anything to say that's not a criticism or complaint so I am learning to just...be quiet. I liked what one finisher said - when we keep our complaints quiet, it's easier to hear God speak to us.
- I'll close as usual with my Book Pick of the month: Mudhouse Sabbath by Lauren Winner. The author grew up Jewish and is now Christian. Really liked her interesting perspective on Jewish practices like keeping Sabbath, lighting candles, mourning, prayer and others.
- May you all be happy and at peace. Keep in touch.
Tuesday, January 24, 2012
Sunday, January 22, 2012
Book - Art of Paper Quilling
Every now and then, inspiration fades away and so does our drive to make something with our every busy hands. So, checking out a book with tutorials and designs can really help.
I found this book (Art of Paper Quilling) on Google Books. Just click on the link below and check it out for yourself.
http://books.google.ro/books/about/Art_of_Paper_Quilling.html?id=o3BPe13lVoEC&redir_esc=y
I found this book (Art of Paper Quilling) on Google Books. Just click on the link below and check it out for yourself.
http://books.google.ro/books/about/Art_of_Paper_Quilling.html?id=o3BPe13lVoEC&redir_esc=y
Inspirational No. 3 - Meet Yulia Brodskaya
Inspirational No. 2 - Nava Lubelski - Rolled Paper Art
Talk about patience. Rolled Paper sculpture by New York's Nava Lubelski.
Inspirational No. 1 - Origami Tea Bag Designer Natalia Ponomareva
I find this like the most appropriate way to celebrate the moment of tea.
Tuesday, January 17, 2012
Geanta de umar din blana alba - SOLD
Monday, January 16, 2012
Cercei Candelabru (2) - Perle de Mallorca si Malachit - SOLD
Cercei Candelabru (1) - Perle si Margele - SOLD
Friday, January 13, 2012
MauldenNews December 2011
Greetings and Happy New Year to all!
This year, I read a book about unplugging the Christmas machine. It inspired me to scale down and slow down. We did a bit less and I think we enjoyed things a bit more. We celebrated Advent with a wreath and candles this year, as well as the traditional Advent calendars. Sam went on a binge one night about mid-December (unsupervised) and ate all his remaining advent calendar chocolates. Alle took the opposite approach and saved them up for days. Two different approaches to life.
We celebrated the halfway point of the school year with a little "Awards Dinner" for the kids. Alle got prizes for honesty and truth telling, becoming a super reader, and overcoming stage fright (joined her class in the school Christmas program this year). Sam earned his seatbelt award (he buckles and unbuckles independently), as well as awards for awesome dancing and unbridled enthusiasm for life.
Other holiday stuff- we tried baking new cookies - Dutch spice cookies (speculaasjes or windmill cookies) and my new favorite, Nigerian sesame seed cookies. We made a lemon raspberry birthday cake for Jesus too.
We had a wonderful Christmas - in fact, we had two. We opened gifts at home and then flew to Little Rock to spend a week with Bryan's side of the family. It was wonderful to reconnect with them and they were very gracious hosts, especially when our plane was delayed and we ended up staying 3 days longer than planned. We sure soaked up the sunshine and warm weather. I enjoyed bird (and squirrel) watching, especially the cardinals, downy woodpeckers and others we don't see in Utah. I even saw my first great blue heron while running on a wooded trail by a stream near the house. I love Utah, but I have to admit I could handle Arkansas winters!
I've been listening to a series of essays called "This I Believe" on NPR - the idea is to summarize your core beliefs in a few hundred words. The series includes a number of essays by famous Americans from the 1950s, when the concept was first introduced and the essays read on the radio. (Examples: Helen Keller, Eleanor Roosevelt, Jackie Robinson, etc.) There are also essays written by ordinary people in the present day.
I have yet to write my essay, but here are a few things I believe in:
I believe that even in the digital age, books still make some of the very best Christmas presents.
I believe in spending time with your family at Christmas.
I believe little boys and their daddies need to stick together.
I believe creativity and artistry are innate and to be enjoyed by all.
I believe in surrounding ourselves with beauty. Thanks again to Chris Allec for this masterpiece. I feel serene just looking at it.
I believe in SLEEP!
Last but not least, I believe in reading good books. My pick of the month is called Sabbath by Wayne Muller. This is one of those treasures you have to read slowly and savor. There's a lot of wisdom behind the concept of a set-apart time for rest. May you all experience the joy of finding the right rhythm between work and rest in 2012.
This year, I read a book about unplugging the Christmas machine. It inspired me to scale down and slow down. We did a bit less and I think we enjoyed things a bit more. We celebrated Advent with a wreath and candles this year, as well as the traditional Advent calendars. Sam went on a binge one night about mid-December (unsupervised) and ate all his remaining advent calendar chocolates. Alle took the opposite approach and saved them up for days. Two different approaches to life.
We celebrated the halfway point of the school year with a little "Awards Dinner" for the kids. Alle got prizes for honesty and truth telling, becoming a super reader, and overcoming stage fright (joined her class in the school Christmas program this year). Sam earned his seatbelt award (he buckles and unbuckles independently), as well as awards for awesome dancing and unbridled enthusiasm for life.
Other holiday stuff- we tried baking new cookies - Dutch spice cookies (speculaasjes or windmill cookies) and my new favorite, Nigerian sesame seed cookies. We made a lemon raspberry birthday cake for Jesus too.
We had a wonderful Christmas - in fact, we had two. We opened gifts at home and then flew to Little Rock to spend a week with Bryan's side of the family. It was wonderful to reconnect with them and they were very gracious hosts, especially when our plane was delayed and we ended up staying 3 days longer than planned. We sure soaked up the sunshine and warm weather. I enjoyed bird (and squirrel) watching, especially the cardinals, downy woodpeckers and others we don't see in Utah. I even saw my first great blue heron while running on a wooded trail by a stream near the house. I love Utah, but I have to admit I could handle Arkansas winters!
I've been listening to a series of essays called "This I Believe" on NPR - the idea is to summarize your core beliefs in a few hundred words. The series includes a number of essays by famous Americans from the 1950s, when the concept was first introduced and the essays read on the radio. (Examples: Helen Keller, Eleanor Roosevelt, Jackie Robinson, etc.) There are also essays written by ordinary people in the present day.
I have yet to write my essay, but here are a few things I believe in:
Last but not least, I believe in reading good books. My pick of the month is called Sabbath by Wayne Muller. This is one of those treasures you have to read slowly and savor. There's a lot of wisdom behind the concept of a set-apart time for rest. May you all experience the joy of finding the right rhythm between work and rest in 2012.
Saturday, December 31, 2011
¿Qué hacemos?
Con tanto entretenimiento es imposible descubrir qué es lo que quieres hacer en la vida. Incluso a los 34 años no tienes ni idea. De hecho creo que a esta edad pensamos que tienes que tener las cosas claras, pero lo que yo pienso es que llevas años acostumbrándote a vivir una vida que no es la que quieres para ti y te empiezas a creer que haces lo que has elegido. Me encanta cuando oigo historias de personas de mi edad o mayores que han mandado todo a la mierda y han empezado de nuevo en otro paÃs o haciendo algo que no tiene nada que ver con su supuesta carrera. Siempre que puedo apoyo este tipo de iniciativas. Me atraen las mujeres que de repente han decepcionado a toda su familia para llevar una vida que no aporta prestigio profesional, ni dinero ni nada de lo que se espera de una mujer de su edad. Sé que con gente asà es más probable que fuese feliz al tener muchas cosas en común, entre ellas la inquietud.
¿De verdad tu sueño es ser dentista? Y una mierda.
Solo me creo los sueños que estén relacionados con trabajos en los que ayudes a alguien, ya sea con su salud, su bienestar, educación, trabajos artÃsticos en los que tengas libertad para crear sin tener que seguir guÃas estrictas o en los que se pueda viajar. Como cosa temporal puede que se haya planificado llevar un modo de vida con el que se gane dinero para a corto o medio plazo poder comenzar a hacer lo que de verdad te gusta. O incluso tener trabajos a media jornada para la otra media hacer lo que de verdad te llena. Pero esto en muchas ocasiones es solo una excusa.
Si hay algo que no desarrollamos ni ejercitamos jamás es la creatividad, no solo en el arte, sino en la vida. No tenemos idea de cómo llevar nuestra vida de manera creativa, sin imitar otras. Nos dejamos llevar por la absurda cantidad de ocio que nos rodea para que apenas pensemos. No tenemos opiniones propias sino que jugamos con las que leemos, oÃmos o vemos en la tele. Las remezclamos y emitimos nuestra versión. Somos como DJs que no crean música sino que mezclan la ya creada o cantantes que versionan. Los grandes son los que crean. Tanto opiniones como canciones, historias...
Un buen ejemplo lo dan los polÃticos, ¿cómo es posible que todos los miembros de un grupo polÃtico voten en masa a lo que su lÃder les diga? Es una prueba fehaciente de que no les está permitido pensar o no tienen valor para hacerlo. Nadie puede estar de acuerdo con el 100% de las opiniones de otro grupo de personas en cientos de temas, es imposible. De lo que se deduce que mienten. Casi me parece tan poco respetable como el periodismo del corazón.
¿No podrÃamos votar leyes directamente? Si hay un momento en la historia en el que eso es posible es ahora con el auge de las aplicaciones móvil y las campañas de peticiones de firmas online para bombardeos masivos de emails a polÃticos o para vetar leyes injustas o apoyar a los más necesitados.
Pese a que el mundo es una mierda que va desbocada al holocausto, se oyen cada vez más voces de cansancio y aburrimiento con los sistemas establecidos. Cada vez más personas se dan cuenta de que la vida de ratones de laboratorio que llevamos no les llenan. Seguimos un guión que no hemos escrito nosotros.
Propongo sentarse unas horas a no hacer nada más que pensar en las cosas que nos hacen felices y nos llenan y si estamos haciéndolas o si podrÃamos dedicarnos a ellas. Con todas tus fuerzas. Una de las cosas más difÃciles en la vida es llegar a saber qué es lo que de verdad te gusta. Lo mismo ni siquiera lo has probado todavÃa, pero seguro que has visto a alguien hacerlo y le admiras sin darte cuenta.
Con el deporte es casi peor. No me digas que quieres ser futbolista, porque es mentira. Lo que quieres es el dinero, la fama, la popularidad o el poder, o es que eres un perdedor que no sabe cómo conseguir mujeres. Ok, si es verdad que hay quien disfruta de verdad jugando al fútbol, pero ¿lo harÃa si no se idealizase a los jugadores como si fuesen mesÃas? Cuando muchos lo que son es engreÃdos y soberbios.
Participar en expediciones, subir montañas, escalar, navegar, correr largas distancias, volar, bucear, viajar en bicicleta, patinar. Son deportes que si te pueden atraer por si mismos.
Tenemos los peores Ãdolos que se pueden tener. ¿Porqué si preguntas en una escuela quién quiere ser famoso de mayor casi todos levantan la mano? ¿Qué nos ha dado con la fama? ¡Yo no quiero ser famoso! Viva el anonimato, la invisibilidad que me otorga no salir de manera masiva en los medios... Poder perderme en el metro con un libro o pasear por la calle casi sin ser visto o ir a la tienda de al lado o a un restaurante sin brotes de paranoia. El anonimato es una las condiciones más subestimadas en esta época. Pregúntale a cualquier celebridad qué es lo que más echa de menos y verás lo que te dice.
Queremos la vida de otros, no tenemos el valor de diseñar las nuestras propias por si fracasamos o decepcionamos a los demás cuando nos deberÃa importar una mierda lo que opinan.
No hace mucho leà en un libro una definición que me pareció bastante acertada sobre el tipo de personas que componen el mundo, esto es una traducción muy libre:
“El mundo está dirigido por un millón de malvados, diez millones de estúpidos y cien millones de cobardes. Los malvados son el poder- los ricos, los polÃticos y los fanáticos religiosos - cuyas decisiones dirigen el mundo y lo ponen en el camino de la avaricia y la destrucción. Los estúpidos son son los soldados y los militares que imponen el dominio de los malvados. Son valientes en ocasiones, pero estúpidos porque dan sus vidas por gobiernos y causas que usan sus cuerpos como meros peones de ajedrez. A la larga los gobiernos siempre los traicionan o decepcionan o abandonan. Y los cobardes son los burócratas que permiten que los malvados lo dirijan todo mirando a otro lado, son directores, secretarios, presidentes de asociaciones, jefes de departamento, alcaldes, siempre defendiéndose diciendo que simplemente siguen órdenes o que están haciendo su trabajo mientras firman un papel que pone a alguien enfrente de un pelotón de fusilamiento o condena a un millón de personas a morir lentamente de hambre. El resto de nosotros, unos seis mil millones simplemente hacemos lo que nos dicen.”
¿De verdad tu sueño es ser dentista? Y una mierda.
Solo me creo los sueños que estén relacionados con trabajos en los que ayudes a alguien, ya sea con su salud, su bienestar, educación, trabajos artÃsticos en los que tengas libertad para crear sin tener que seguir guÃas estrictas o en los que se pueda viajar. Como cosa temporal puede que se haya planificado llevar un modo de vida con el que se gane dinero para a corto o medio plazo poder comenzar a hacer lo que de verdad te gusta. O incluso tener trabajos a media jornada para la otra media hacer lo que de verdad te llena. Pero esto en muchas ocasiones es solo una excusa.
Si hay algo que no desarrollamos ni ejercitamos jamás es la creatividad, no solo en el arte, sino en la vida. No tenemos idea de cómo llevar nuestra vida de manera creativa, sin imitar otras. Nos dejamos llevar por la absurda cantidad de ocio que nos rodea para que apenas pensemos. No tenemos opiniones propias sino que jugamos con las que leemos, oÃmos o vemos en la tele. Las remezclamos y emitimos nuestra versión. Somos como DJs que no crean música sino que mezclan la ya creada o cantantes que versionan. Los grandes son los que crean. Tanto opiniones como canciones, historias...
Un buen ejemplo lo dan los polÃticos, ¿cómo es posible que todos los miembros de un grupo polÃtico voten en masa a lo que su lÃder les diga? Es una prueba fehaciente de que no les está permitido pensar o no tienen valor para hacerlo. Nadie puede estar de acuerdo con el 100% de las opiniones de otro grupo de personas en cientos de temas, es imposible. De lo que se deduce que mienten. Casi me parece tan poco respetable como el periodismo del corazón.
¿No podrÃamos votar leyes directamente? Si hay un momento en la historia en el que eso es posible es ahora con el auge de las aplicaciones móvil y las campañas de peticiones de firmas online para bombardeos masivos de emails a polÃticos o para vetar leyes injustas o apoyar a los más necesitados.
Pese a que el mundo es una mierda que va desbocada al holocausto, se oyen cada vez más voces de cansancio y aburrimiento con los sistemas establecidos. Cada vez más personas se dan cuenta de que la vida de ratones de laboratorio que llevamos no les llenan. Seguimos un guión que no hemos escrito nosotros.
Propongo sentarse unas horas a no hacer nada más que pensar en las cosas que nos hacen felices y nos llenan y si estamos haciéndolas o si podrÃamos dedicarnos a ellas. Con todas tus fuerzas. Una de las cosas más difÃciles en la vida es llegar a saber qué es lo que de verdad te gusta. Lo mismo ni siquiera lo has probado todavÃa, pero seguro que has visto a alguien hacerlo y le admiras sin darte cuenta.
Con el deporte es casi peor. No me digas que quieres ser futbolista, porque es mentira. Lo que quieres es el dinero, la fama, la popularidad o el poder, o es que eres un perdedor que no sabe cómo conseguir mujeres. Ok, si es verdad que hay quien disfruta de verdad jugando al fútbol, pero ¿lo harÃa si no se idealizase a los jugadores como si fuesen mesÃas? Cuando muchos lo que son es engreÃdos y soberbios.
Participar en expediciones, subir montañas, escalar, navegar, correr largas distancias, volar, bucear, viajar en bicicleta, patinar. Son deportes que si te pueden atraer por si mismos.
Tenemos los peores Ãdolos que se pueden tener. ¿Porqué si preguntas en una escuela quién quiere ser famoso de mayor casi todos levantan la mano? ¿Qué nos ha dado con la fama? ¡Yo no quiero ser famoso! Viva el anonimato, la invisibilidad que me otorga no salir de manera masiva en los medios... Poder perderme en el metro con un libro o pasear por la calle casi sin ser visto o ir a la tienda de al lado o a un restaurante sin brotes de paranoia. El anonimato es una las condiciones más subestimadas en esta época. Pregúntale a cualquier celebridad qué es lo que más echa de menos y verás lo que te dice.
Queremos la vida de otros, no tenemos el valor de diseñar las nuestras propias por si fracasamos o decepcionamos a los demás cuando nos deberÃa importar una mierda lo que opinan.
No hace mucho leà en un libro una definición que me pareció bastante acertada sobre el tipo de personas que componen el mundo, esto es una traducción muy libre:
“El mundo está dirigido por un millón de malvados, diez millones de estúpidos y cien millones de cobardes. Los malvados son el poder- los ricos, los polÃticos y los fanáticos religiosos - cuyas decisiones dirigen el mundo y lo ponen en el camino de la avaricia y la destrucción. Los estúpidos son son los soldados y los militares que imponen el dominio de los malvados. Son valientes en ocasiones, pero estúpidos porque dan sus vidas por gobiernos y causas que usan sus cuerpos como meros peones de ajedrez. A la larga los gobiernos siempre los traicionan o decepcionan o abandonan. Y los cobardes son los burócratas que permiten que los malvados lo dirijan todo mirando a otro lado, son directores, secretarios, presidentes de asociaciones, jefes de departamento, alcaldes, siempre defendiéndose diciendo que simplemente siguen órdenes o que están haciendo su trabajo mientras firman un papel que pone a alguien enfrente de un pelotón de fusilamiento o condena a un millón de personas a morir lentamente de hambre. El resto de nosotros, unos seis mil millones simplemente hacemos lo que nos dicen.”
Saturday, December 10, 2011
The Complaint Free Challenge
OK, I got this idea from a random audiobook I picked up at the library (A Complaint Free World by Bill Bowen). Maybe it's just another hokey self-help fad, but it was just intriguing enough (and speaks to my awareness that I do complain too much) that I'm giving it a shot. Many years ago, one of my sisters told me, "All you do is complain." It was surprising to me because I really didn't perceive myself that way. It's been a few weeks since I've begun the challe nge, and I'm not under any illusions. I complain quite a bit - but at least I'm a lot more aware of it now. And I've managed to go two consecutive days without complaining since November 12. How about that.
The goal is to go 21 consecutive days without complaining, criticizing, or gossiping. I'm also adding "yelling at my kids," one of my less noble habits, to the list. The method is to wear a bracelet, rubber band, or whatever around your wrist. When you catch yourself complaining, criticizing, or gossiping, you switch the wristband to the other wrist and start over. When you reach 21 consecutive days without moving the wristband, you win. Everyone around you wins too.
A caveat about the book: the author claims quite a bit about how your life will change and how the universe will bless you if you do this challenge. I'm not necessarily endorsing the whole book here, but I invite you to join me in the challenge if you're interested. No reading required.
Some rules: complaints, criticism, or gossip that happens in your head is free. Any of the above that comes out of your mouth requires a wristband switch. Even if you're just complaining to yourself (which I've discovered I do!) you have to move the bracelet if the words escape your lips.
The idea is NOT to just stuff it when something bad happens. You are allowed and encouraged to request what you DO want, but only from someone who can help the situation. If the waiter brings you cold soup, you don't gripe to your table companions or yell at the waiter. You simply inform the waiter (politely) that your soup is cold and ask for hot soup.
If you have a friend who agrees to play the game with you, that's great. You may point out the friend's need to move her bracelet, but if you do so, you must also move your own bracelet.
Gossip is actually allowed, if: 1) whatever you're saying about the person is complimentary, and 2) you would repeat it word for word in the person's presence.
One thing I found helpful from the book was this description of how we change or learn a new skill. The progression goes like this:
- unconscious incompetence (we're unaware of our complaining)
- conscious incompetence (we become aware of our complaints)
-conscious competence (we start to be able to control our complaints, but it requires conscious effort)
- unconscious competence (we reach the point where complaining is no longer automatic)
The analogy that came to me is driving a car. At first it requires a lot of conscious effort and we find it difficult to attend to all the details needed to drive safely and smoothly. But eventually, we develop the skills and habits to drive well even while on "autopilot." We still have to pay attention, but it gets easier.
So...we'll see how this goes. The average person takes 4-8 months to complete the challenge. I'm shooting for May 12, which would be 6 months. Even if I don't make it by then, I'll be giving my family, friends and myself the gift of not hearing as much whining from me.
E-mail me or comment if you're interested in taking the challenge with me!
The goal is to go 21 consecutive days without complaining, criticizing, or gossiping. I'm also adding "yelling at my kids," one of my less noble habits, to the list. The method is to wear a bracelet, rubber band, or whatever around your wrist. When you catch yourself complaining, criticizing, or gossiping, you switch the wristband to the other wrist and start over. When you reach 21 consecutive days without moving the wristband, you win. Everyone around you wins too.
A caveat about the book: the author claims quite a bit about how your life will change and how the universe will bless you if you do this challenge. I'm not necessarily endorsing the whole book here, but I invite you to join me in the challenge if you're interested. No reading required.
Some rules: complaints, criticism, or gossip that happens in your head is free. Any of the above that comes out of your mouth requires a wristband switch. Even if you're just complaining to yourself (which I've discovered I do!) you have to move the bracelet if the words escape your lips.
The idea is NOT to just stuff it when something bad happens. You are allowed and encouraged to request what you DO want, but only from someone who can help the situation. If the waiter brings you cold soup, you don't gripe to your table companions or yell at the waiter. You simply inform the waiter (politely) that your soup is cold and ask for hot soup.
If you have a friend who agrees to play the game with you, that's great. You may point out the friend's need to move her bracelet, but if you do so, you must also move your own bracelet.
Gossip is actually allowed, if: 1) whatever you're saying about the person is complimentary, and 2) you would repeat it word for word in the person's presence.
One thing I found helpful from the book was this description of how we change or learn a new skill. The progression goes like this:
- unconscious incompetence (we're unaware of our complaining)
- conscious incompetence (we become aware of our complaints)
-conscious competence (we start to be able to control our complaints, but it requires conscious effort)
- unconscious competence (we reach the point where complaining is no longer automatic)
The analogy that came to me is driving a car. At first it requires a lot of conscious effort and we find it difficult to attend to all the details needed to drive safely and smoothly. But eventually, we develop the skills and habits to drive well even while on "autopilot." We still have to pay attention, but it gets easier.
So...we'll see how this goes. The average person takes 4-8 months to complete the challenge. I'm shooting for May 12, which would be 6 months. Even if I don't make it by then, I'll be giving my family, friends and myself the gift of not hearing as much whining from me.
E-mail me or comment if you're interested in taking the challenge with me!
Monday, December 5, 2011
the Truth
Well, it finally happened. Alex and I had the big talk. I told her the truth.
No, not about sex. (She already knows about that.) About Santa.
A little history...last Easter we surprised the kids with new bikes on Easter morning. We had them going with the whole Easter bunny story, UNTIL we stepped outside to go to church and Alex saw the bike boxes in the recycler. All of a sudden she stopped. It all dawned on her. She turned to us and said, "Wait...the Easter bunny didn't give us those bikes - YOU GUYS did it! You LIED to us!" We admitted to all the deception and tried to explain why we "lied" - but she was angry and feeling betrayed. I felt bad - I don't remember getting mad at my parents when we figured it out as kids - but I could see how she felt lied to. She made us promise to tell her the truth in the future.
So...fast forward to this Christmas season. I thought maybe the Easter bunny realization would carry over to Santa and she would have it all figured out, but nope...she and Sam were still believers. Until yesterday. Bryan and I had talked it over a couple weeks ago and decided we need to come clean this year. We didn't want to betray any trust or repeat the whole scene where she felt cheated and deceived and lied to. Bryan remembers feeling disappointed and betrayed by his parents when he found out the truth. And I heard from another friend who remembers clearly how hurt she was, that her trust in her parents was damaged and she felt she couldn't talk to them about it, and it even got her questioning her faith in God (which is logical).
Anyway, we hadn't found the right opening so we never actually followed through. I still have mixed feelings about dashing a child's innocent beliefs in Santa. But yesterday, Alex mentioned Santa and I knew I had to take the opportunity.
So I told her. I reminded her that she asked us always to tell her the truth and that we want to honor that. I tried to break it to her gently. I explained that it is a story that began with a real person named Saint Nicholas who loved children, protected them, and gave them gifts. I told her how people all over the world are inspired by Saint Nicholas and how the story grew. Just like the stories we see in the movies, the Santa story is "based on a true story" but has added bits of fairy tale and magic. It's not "real" but it points us to the truths of Christmas, like the love of God for us and the joys of giving. She took it all in calmly, though I could see her mind was working on processing this new information. She asked, "Then who is that guy in the white beard?" I explained that the Santas we see around town are people dressed up like Santa. "Why in the world would they do that?" she wondered. So funny, the way her mind works! Overall, it was a good conversation. Whew! I reminded her that Christmas is really about the birth of Jesus. She said, "Oh, I know. I told my Sunday school class the whole story of Christmas. No one knew it except me and the teacher. I was the hero."
So the truth is out. Part of me still feels sad, but she is growing up and I knew the truth would come out one way or another. I'd rather she hear it from me than from kids at school. I feel I did the right thing to maintain her trust.
No, not about sex. (She already knows about that.) About Santa.
A little history...last Easter we surprised the kids with new bikes on Easter morning. We had them going with the whole Easter bunny story, UNTIL we stepped outside to go to church and Alex saw the bike boxes in the recycler. All of a sudden she stopped. It all dawned on her. She turned to us and said, "Wait...the Easter bunny didn't give us those bikes - YOU GUYS did it! You LIED to us!" We admitted to all the deception and tried to explain why we "lied" - but she was angry and feeling betrayed. I felt bad - I don't remember getting mad at my parents when we figured it out as kids - but I could see how she felt lied to. She made us promise to tell her the truth in the future.
So...fast forward to this Christmas season. I thought maybe the Easter bunny realization would carry over to Santa and she would have it all figured out, but nope...she and Sam were still believers. Until yesterday. Bryan and I had talked it over a couple weeks ago and decided we need to come clean this year. We didn't want to betray any trust or repeat the whole scene where she felt cheated and deceived and lied to. Bryan remembers feeling disappointed and betrayed by his parents when he found out the truth. And I heard from another friend who remembers clearly how hurt she was, that her trust in her parents was damaged and she felt she couldn't talk to them about it, and it even got her questioning her faith in God (which is logical).
Anyway, we hadn't found the right opening so we never actually followed through. I still have mixed feelings about dashing a child's innocent beliefs in Santa. But yesterday, Alex mentioned Santa and I knew I had to take the opportunity.
So I told her. I reminded her that she asked us always to tell her the truth and that we want to honor that. I tried to break it to her gently. I explained that it is a story that began with a real person named Saint Nicholas who loved children, protected them, and gave them gifts. I told her how people all over the world are inspired by Saint Nicholas and how the story grew. Just like the stories we see in the movies, the Santa story is "based on a true story" but has added bits of fairy tale and magic. It's not "real" but it points us to the truths of Christmas, like the love of God for us and the joys of giving. She took it all in calmly, though I could see her mind was working on processing this new information. She asked, "Then who is that guy in the white beard?" I explained that the Santas we see around town are people dressed up like Santa. "Why in the world would they do that?" she wondered. So funny, the way her mind works! Overall, it was a good conversation. Whew! I reminded her that Christmas is really about the birth of Jesus. She said, "Oh, I know. I told my Sunday school class the whole story of Christmas. No one knew it except me and the teacher. I was the hero."
So the truth is out. Part of me still feels sad, but she is growing up and I knew the truth would come out one way or another. I'd rather she hear it from me than from kids at school. I feel I did the right thing to maintain her trust.
Saturday, December 3, 2011
MauldenNews November 2011
Let's see...November...what do I remember...?
I spent the first half of the month doing my twice-a-year inpatient/outpatient neurology rotation at the VA. I like my job and all, but once I was able to turn off the pager, the real fun began...girls' weekend!
Start of the Mesquite Tri-States Marathon (Utah, Arizona, and Nevada)! (Pictures courtesy of Tammy - thanks for your excellent photography - as usual!)
The route was scenic, the weather was GREAT, and it was fun except for the last 3-4 miles when I was feeling the pain. But it was worth it for this...
Start of the Mesquite Tri-States Marathon (Utah, Arizona, and Nevada)! (Pictures courtesy of Tammy - thanks for your excellent photography - as usual!)
The route was scenic, the weather was GREAT, and it was fun except for the last 3-4 miles when I was feeling the pain. But it was worth it for this...
Seemed like I just got back from Mesquite and it was time for Thanksgiving. We had a great time with my sister Mary and her family. The kids made creative Thanksgiving dinner drawings which we used as placemats, and we made the most of the nice weather by playing soccer in the park and feeding the ducks and geese with all the kids after the big turkey dinner. (Last year we went sledding - this year - no snow!)
Other events - we went swimming at Murray City pool (big indoor water slide - whee!)
- I took Sophia and Alle around the neighborhood playing "bigger and better." We started with a paperclip and ended with a cute bunny doll, a big decorative basket, a hat, and a pumpkin.
- We made peppermint and gingerbread play-dough, and decorated gingerbread houses.
Last but not least, my book of the month: "Unplug the Christmas Machine" by Robinson and Staeheli. We are "unplugging" this year and I already feel more relaxed. What are your tips for simplifying Christmas and making it a time of true peace, joy, and renewal? Hope to hear from you!